Before Forever
by crazyarsonist
Summary: My take on the series of events before the episode "How Long is Forever?"


**Useless Notes: **My take on how the Titans split up before the events of the episode "How Long is Forever." This, in my opinion, was one of the best episodes of Teen Titans and it ranks as my Number 1 favorite.

Hope you enjoy reading this.

**Disclaimer: **Teen Titans doesn't belong to me. If I did, they'd still be around.

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

"_The world slows down_

_My heart beats fast right now_

_I know this is the part_

_Where the end starts."_

_- Pussycat Dolls (From: "I Hate this Part")_

**Before Forever**

"I'm quitting the team."

Robin let out the breath he'd kept in seconds before his announcement and stood stoically in front of his teammates as they allowed the news to sink in.

Three, two, one. Then, the bomb exploded.

"Say _what_?!"

"But dude, you can't!"

"Robin?"

Anger, shock and confusion were clearly evident on their faces and Robin braced himself for whatever they might say. He'd practiced long and hard for this moment, but he still wasn't ready to face his team like this.

Even so, it had to be done. For the good of the team.

"I'm sorry guys…" the Boy Wonder hung his head sadly. "I- I just have to. For the good of us all."

He frowned suddenly, disgusted with himself. Even he knew he was lying. Who would buy such a flimsy excuse like that? He paused in his thoughts. He was shaking. His clenched fist, his voice… It didn't matter where; it was as if the shakes were spreading rapidly throughout his whole body.

Cyborg snorted. "For the good of us all my-" he paused, regained his composure and went on. "You can't just quit after what happened."

"This has _nothing_ to do with what's happened." Robin replied just as heatedly, glaring at Cyborg, whose lone eye was squinted in anger.

"I don't care."

Silence descended upon everyone present in the Tower's common room and the two men continued their glaring contest, until Robin backed down and sighed.

"It's Br- Batman." he explained, catching himself in time.

And once that name fell from his lips the other Titans knew there was no more stopping him.

"It's… He wants me back. He says he needs me there in Gotham and that there's a new city I need to watch over and I-"

"You're rambling," Raven stepped in, interrupting him in his sentence. "If you're so tired of all the fighting, then why don't you just stop?"

He turned away "I didn't know I needed her this much…" he sighed, picking up the beads no one dared to touch since Starfire's disappearance.

"And you're leaving because of that?" Cyborg stared out the window, the moon reflecting on his metallic eye.

"… Yeah." Robin picked himself up and moved toward the door.

"Rob." Cyborg called, causing the now taller superhero to turn around. "Hold up."

"Here, catch." he tossed him the Titans communicator. Robin looked up at him, his eyes moving from the communicator to Cyborg. "Keep it… For old time's sake."

Robin nodded and looked around at the remaining Titans, and even though it pained him to do so, he looked at his friends and smiled at them. "I'm really gonna miss this place…" he ran his fingers along the wall.

"I'm really gonna miss you guys."

They hung their heads and dared not to say anything to keep from breaking down themselves. But after a few, agonizing minutes of the heavy silence, it was Beast Boy who looked up at their leader, still trying to make light of the matter.

"Y-you're not really doing this, aren't you?" he asked, his knees and voice starting to shake. "I mean- I mean you're joking dude, aren't you? I mean, you have to be… Seriously, wh-where's the hidden camera? You're not really leaving… right?"

Robin looked at him sadly, wanting so much to answer that yes, this was a practical joke. Starfire hadn't really gone, Bruce hadn't really called him back, the team wasn't really breaking apart and none of this was really happening. He would have given anything to reassure his friends, telling them it was all a joke and that they could move on and live normally again.

But he knew it wasn't going to happen. "Hold-" he stopped, trying not to break down himself. "Hold the fort while I'm gone."

He took one last look at his friends before leaving, his hands holding the communicator tightly, as if crushing it. Finally, the door closed and he thought he saw Beast Boy make a last sprint to the closing door, to try and prevent him from leaving.

Robin took his last walk out the Tower and he stopped as he reached the outside, where coincidentally, ironically, it was raining. As he stood there, letting the rain fall down harshly on his body, he pounded the wall and for the first time since his parents' deaths, Robin cried.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

Starfire had always been their source of happiness and joy. She was the glue that held them together and the reason behind their formation. Since her disappearance, the Titans did all they could to try and bring her back: Robin retreated to his investigation room, Cyborg turned to his computers, Raven consulted her magic, while Beast Boy tried tracking her down with all the animal forms he came up with. No such luck- she was nowhere to be found and it was only then the team realized that they didn't have anymore strength to do what they did. They just _couldn't_. Without her, things didn't seem as fun or enjoyable as they used to be. Without her, everybody on the team just fell apart.

They had aged and so did their bad guys. And with the passage of time came a new generation: a new batch of villains they couldn't stop and a fresh batch of superheroes they couldn't rival. It wasn't long before they knew they weren't needed anymore by the city. Now instead of going to the city to fight crime, they stayed holed up in the Tower, watching the news and letting the time fly by. For a time, they succeeded in fooling themselves; that they were content like this and that they were happy.

They weren't. And Robin was the first to wake up and leave.

And now, with him gone too, the other three found themselves at a loss, not knowing what to do anymore.

So they did the only thing they could do. They stayed. And waited.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

Ever since Starfire and Robin left the team, the three were left behind to try and rebuild and fix everything. But it wasn't enough. Before any of them realized it, another bomb threatening the team exploded one evening as they watched the news on TV.

Cyborg glanced at Beast Boy and smiled, in spite of himself. "Something must be wrong with you."

"Huh?" Beast Boy turned, momentarily moving his attentive gaze away from the TV. Not that he was paying any attention to it. There was nothing good on the tube these days. "What do you mean?"

"You're… not your usual self." Raven's voice came up from one of the chairs.

Cyborg had to chuckle at that. "See man? Even Raven's noticed."

But Beast Boy looked at the two of them, unfazed. "So?"

"Must've hit you pretty bad, didn't it?"

Beast Boy looked down at his shoes and fidgeted. He knew they'd bring it up someday and he knew they had to talk about it, but he felt it would have been better if they hadn't noticed at all.

But they were all friends, he figured. And that was what good friends did- poke into other people's business.

"It's just-" he started, still not looking at either of them. But both of them were looking at him now, he could tell. "It's just that everyone around me's either dead or gone. You know?"

He lifted his head to face them and grinned weakly, trying to tell them that it was nothing at all; that they didn't have anything to talk about. But they looked back at him sadly, urging him to continue.

"Beast Boy." Raven said and he might have imagined it, but there may have been a tiny hint of concern in that tone she used.

He looked at her and sighed. He never could refuse those eyes, after all.

"It started with my parents, then Terra…" he paused. "And now Star and Rob. It's just… I can't… I can't take it anymore, that's all."

And he threw his gaze back to the floor, suddenly ashamed to look into their eyes.

"But BB," Cyborg argued. "What about us? Raven and I are still here, man and as far as I can tell, nobody's leaving you, you got that? The three of us, we still stick together. Just like before."

He looked to Raven for support and he got it when she nodded silently, but as determined as he was to bring the old Beast Boy back. But there was no bringing him back anymore. The old Beast Boy they knew was hidden too far away and a more serious, grimmer alternate had taken his place.

"Maybe it's about time I left too."

Cyborg immediately turned back to his friend. "No BB, you're not saying that."

But Beast Boy didn't hear him. "You know… Make a name for myself and tell the world I exist. This is it, guys, don't you get it? It's my time to make it big in the superhero business as a solo crime fighter!"

But only Beast Boy looked pleased with his suggestion.

"Why do you still need to prove yourself to everyone when you've already done so much?" Raven suddenly spoke. "Are you sure about this, Beast Boy?"

The concern was evident in her voice and the old Beast Boy would have seen that, but the new one didn't. He took it the wrong way instead and replied, the heat starting to rise in his voice.

"Oh, I've done something?" he asked. "_I've_ done something? Like what? Get on everyone's nerves and piss them off when all I wanted to do is lighten the mood? Get in everyone's way and be the laughingstock of the entire city? _I've_ done something, Raven? Huh?!"

His voice had become deeper and now that he was angry, it had a scarier edge to it. He had grown taller through the years and now that he stood from his chair, his height made him look much fiercer than his scrawny self before. He no longer smiled and wore scowls more often and now that his temper had risen, he looked like he was actually about to kill somebody.

But nothing made Raven flinch. She stared back at him defiantly, daring him to make a move, despite her sudden nervousness. Looking into his eyes was like looking at the Beast all over again.

"Still, is that reason enough for you to go?" she asked, clearly trying to hold her patience. "Are you sure you really want to leave?"

"What do you care?"

"I'm your friend, Beast Boy." Raven said solidly and firmly, trying to get the message across to his thick skull. "I should care."

He glared at her, clearly angry with what she was doing. "Well stay out of my business."

She gave an exasperated sigh and stood up to face him. She had grown taller too, and more menacing, but the changes did nothing to make Beast Boy back down.

"I don't believe this," she started. "A few minutes ago, you were crying and complaining; asking me for my pity."

"I never asked-"

"And now you're telling me to stay out?"

Knowing that even Raven wouldn't be able to calm Beast Boy down, Cyborg finally stood up and intervened.

"I can't believe this is happening," he looked at both of them, who seemed to be looking through him and at each other. "We've been a team- a _family_- for so long and you two are acting as if you've never even met. I thought we were all supposed to stick together?"

"How can I calm down when _she's_ trying to stop me from doing what I want?!"

"I'm only after your well-being, Beast Boy. You won't survive out there. Times have changed and people don't need us anymore, do you understand?!" Raven tried another attempt at stopping Beast Boy, the tears already threatening to pour. "You step out that door and they _will _take advantage of you."

But Beast Boy only stared at her coldly, not caring about how she felt. "Didn't hear you say that when Robin stepped out."

"Robin can handle himself."

"And you're saying I can't?"

"It's not that, Beast Bo-"

"And quit it with the Beast Boy crap! I've grown older since then and I'm still being called a boy!"

"How can I stop calling you a boy when you still insist on acting like one?"

"I am not _immature!_" he roared and transformed into a tiger, baring his teeth.

But Raven remained unnerved and didn't even flinch. "That's not proving anything."

"Beast Boy, that's _enough!_" Cyborg shouted, causing the tiger to morph back into a green human.

"I'm outta here," he snarled, putting one foot on the windowsill.

"Good riddance." Raven muttered, making sure he heard her.

He did and looked back angrily, showing his fangs again. Then, he transformed into an eagle and flew off into the night without so much as a second glance.

Behind Raven, Cyborg collapsed into his chair defeatedly and put a hand to his face. Now there was just two of them left. He didn't think he could take any more departures after that.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

Days passed after the episode and Raven was slowly detaching herself from the rest of the world, choosing to stay locked in her room. Years ago, Beast Boy would have tried to get her out, but now with him gone, Cyborg was left to do it alone.

The years hadn't been friendly to Cyborg as well. Time passed and he found himself rotting away, just like any ordinary machine. He found it harder to move and as the new technology kept on advancing, his ancient systems were left behind. Now, no other energy would fuel him but the Tower's generator and he knew that if he kept this up, he'd have to wire himself to the Tower.

Now, with the remaining battery he had left, he trekked to Raven's room to try and talk her out of it. He knocked and surprisingly, the door gave away instantly, giving him permission to step inside.

The room was dark, save for a white figure, levitating in midair in the center. He slowly approached the figure and grasped her shoulder.

Raven turned around, her face crumpled from crying and before Cyborg could say anything, she broke down.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? What're you-"

"I shouldn't have gotten involved with all of you," she started, fresh tears forming in her eyes. "We may have been able to stop Trigon, but I couldn't stop the team from falling apart."

Cyborg knew where she was headed and he didn't like it one bit. But Raven, whose feet were now on the ground, wasn't allowing him to say anything.

"I wasn't able to find Starfire, I couldn't stop Robin from leaving and now it's my fault Beast Boy isn't here anymore." She finally raised her eyes to meet his. "Don't you see, Cyborg? I'm, _I'm_-"

Her knees gave way before she could finish and Raven crashed to the floor, sobbing and letting the tears go. Cyborg immediately dropped to his knees and engulfed the crying girl in a huge, warm embrace.

"None of this is your fault, Raven," he said, and his voice seemed to break too. "I need you to remember that, understand? Nobody's blaming you, it's not your fault."

He stroked her hair and he soothed her as best as he could, but it all fell on deaf ears. With the tears still fresh in her eyes, Raven gently pushed him away and smiled. "Thank you, Cyborg. For everything."

It was a warm and genuine smile, but Cyborg could see what was going to happen next. "No, no, no, Raven. You don't-"

"I'm sorry."

And before he could stop her, black energy came and swallowed her. When the energy disappeared, so had Raven.

"No, no, _NO!!!_" Cyborg yelled and cried, not making any effort to hold the tears back.

The final bomb had finally exploded and though it came silently, it was just as explosive as the first two had been. The final bomb had finally blown up and now, Cyborg felt truly and utterly alone.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

Cyborg had long stopped keeping track of the time. It hurt too much now.

He lived the life of a hermit and he was now wired to the Tower's generator, just like he had predicted. The Tower was the only thing left that kept him running, but it was not what kept him alive. The memories of the past should have done that, but he found it too hard to look back. Instead, he busied himself with cleaning and dusting the Tower, knowing that it was the only thing he had left of the past. So he made it his duty to clean it and take care of it as best as he could, because if even the Tower broke down, he didn't know what he'd do.

Villains had long left the Tower alone, seeing no real advantage if they conquered it. But even if the building was still on an island away from Jump City, pesky kids and looters always found their way there, just to have a good time. That was also why Cyborg chose to stay. Someone had to at least protect the last standing remnant of the Teen Titans after all.

It's been so long since he last heard from them, but he still tried to maintain close contact with Beast Boy. His grand plan of stopping crime by himself had been a failure and the green man had originally come back to the Tower to find Raven and apologize. Cyborg couldn't even begin to describe the grief that crossed his friend's face when he found out that she left a few days after he did.

Beast Boy dropped in again a few months after that, only to tell Cyborg he had found a new job at the zoo. He gained weight and was losing his hair and Cyborg wondered if his friend was even sleeping with a roof over his head at night. He wasn't that happy about his new job and the older man could tell that something was bothering his friend. But Beast Boy had remained tight-lipped about it and eventually left the Tower, not sure if he was still going to visit again. It pained him to see Beast Boy like that: so broken, lost and so afraid, although he didn't know what he was so scared of. Cyborg didn't know what to tell him. What _could_ he tell him?

He shook his head angrily and tried to focus on the task at hand. He entered (what used to be) Robin's room and proceeded to clean it. Dusting a table he knew would never be used again, his eyes fell on a picture on the desk. He picked it up and smiled as he looked at it with fondness.

Here, there were no bad memories of tears, fights and goodbyes. Unlike them, the picture remained unfazed by time, showing the whole team way back when they were still teenagers. Happy, peaceful, complete. Robin had his arm around Starfire, Beast Boy was trying to make Raven smile (to no avail), while Cyborg was trying to stop her from killing his green friend.

It seemed that the camera captured more than just five faces- it also caught the emotions and the innocence they lived in before. In the picture, they weren't the Teen Titans- they were just five kids having fun.

"Dammit girl, where did you go?" he muttered, rubbing a rusting finger along an orange face.

Then, suddenly, a loud noise from what used to be the Common Room broke Cyborg from his nostalgic reverie.

He went out of the room and made his way toward the Common Room, an iron pipe in his hand. Kid, looter or no, he would make sure this was going to be the last time anyone else trespassed.

"All right you! Show yourself, or-" he stopped suddenly, his eye widening as he stared at the person he thought he'd never see again.

"Cy… borg?"

"_Starfire?_"

_**xxxxxxxxxx**_

**A/N:** Hope that wasn't too long, dragging and sappy. Thanks for reading!


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